I usually try to keep things light and fairly short but this is something that I really needed to talk about.
Earlier this month, I lost my oldest friend and when I say old I mean in terms of age. He died at the age of 90. Every time I spoke to him, he would say that he’s about to “catch the train”. But I didn’t believe him or, at least, I didn’t want to. He was a frequent customer at my mom’s restaurant. He came every Friday regardless of how far he had to drive to get there. When I worked at the restaurant, he used to tell me about the olden days. He would show me things from his high school years because we attended the same one. One time he feel ill while eating at our restaurant and had to be taken to the emergency room. Customers who witnessed this began to think our food might have caused it. He assured them that it wasn’t. He said to them, “I come here every week, these people are like family to me” as he was lying on a stretcher being rolled away. And it’s true, he is family. He comes to all of our parties, our BBQs, our dinners. He would send me and my sister a birthday card every year. He never forgot. After high school, I rarely went to the restaurant. I hated it, I hated being forced to work there. So I only saw him at family gatherings. I sent him a postcard while I was abroad this past summer and told him I would show him the pictures I took. I thought I should bring my photos and pay him a visit but I never got the chance.
A few days ago, I got an email from my school saying a student passed away from causes unknown. Unfortunately, we get these emails pretty often. But this case was different, this guy was the same major as me. It was possible that he was in some of my classes. Maybe we sat next to each other in lecture and didn’t even know it. That possible connection had an effect on me. Through a series of events, I found out that I actually did meet him. We didn’t have class together. My friend asked me to go with her to his birthday party. I helped her pick out and wrap his gift even though I never met him. We showed up at his house thinking it would be a huge house party, not knowing it was actually a small get together between friends. He immediately welcomed me in, poured me a drink, and chatted away. He introduced me to Gangnam Style. He just laughed it off when our rowdy dancing caused his picture frames to fall off the wall and shatter. He wouldn’t accept our help and told us to keep dancing while he cleaned it up. He offered me bagel bites, we briefly sang the jingle together. He was outraged when I didn’t know what a perogie was and invited me back to try some. I never took him up on his offer thinking it was just a friendly gesture. That was the first and last time I saw him.
Death is a touchy subject. It doesn’t matter if it was sudden or expected. It doesn’t matter how close they were to you. Death affects all of us. Don’t push things off, if you want to make plans with some one do it. Every time you think, “Hey, I haven’t talked to so and so in a while”, pick up the phone and call, text, email, whatever. Just know that it can happen to anyone at any time. RIP Tommy and Chris, you will be missed.
